Thursday, 29 June 2017

An obese ego is just about the heaviest thing you’ll ever carry. So maybe you should stop feeding it

A thing I wanted to explore for quite some time is how Narcissism is driving our generation today. Not to diagnosis people around with me with Narcissistic Personality Disorder around me, as that will be going against all stereotypes I try challenge. But lately I have noticed that a lot of people in our society have narcissistic tendencies around us. We have been bought up lately in a social media dominating world to feed our deflating egos rather than nurture and cherish the valuable relationships around us. 

Narcissism fascinates me in a way. After growing up with my Father having the disorder and entering relationships with women who could definitely fit under the DSM5 criteria, people often have a negative response towards them. I find egos and narcissism challenging and intriguing. Its hard to comprehend that someone can be so tormented inside that they need to fuel up on empathy to make themselves feel more superior. They will take advantage of compassionate and kind souls to make themselves rose up in the world. Because when they are alone, they are powerless. They are lonely and they need supplies. So they seek our relationships where they need constant control and validation. They need people to admire them rather than love them. It makes them feel good about themselves. 

There isn't anything completely wrong with their behaviours. Borderline seek out love and validation in other ways to what a person with Narcissism would. But believe me, the more we are aware of Narcissistic tendencies, the more we can change people for the better. The more we can be the voice for change in the world. We need to start living in a world where everyone cares about each other, not about their social status and image. The less we engage, the more strong and energised we will feel. 

Narcissism drives society. You will see shallowness of it daily. When we are on instagram, people seeking out validation by posting images of insecurity rather than showing us something informative or meaningful. They want to feel of importance. They feed off the number of likes. It makes them feel superior to other people around them. It makes them fit into a category of supremacy.

You will see it in group situations in social settings. Everyone is competing with one another. Speaking about shallow things that to me, aren't important and lack depth. Bragging rights become the centre of attention. I always sit and think to myself, where are the deep connections? Why is everyone competing for peoples affection rather than nurturing a relationship of value with them? What is it like to live so shallowly and feel so hollow that you need to put people down around you just to make yourself feel something? 

Singling out individuals and bullying them to the point they become severely suicidal. The victim then have to become mindful of the perpetrator. Understanding why they project such cruel acts on to innocent people in society. I have seen it first hand and experienced it first hand, its all in the name of power. They want to feel powerful as the insecurities are so deep that its the only way to escape feeling so low. 

I think to succeed in life, you need to nurture meaningful relationships. You need to stop competing with people who do have a position of power. take a step back, reassess your life and search for meaning. I can tell you, there is nothing meaningful for wishing for validation and praise from 10,000 followers on social media. You should want that validation and praise from the people closest to you. The people you can count on two hands, rather than count digits on a screen. 

Seek love, show compassion and use your empathy on the people who really love you. Engaging and surrounding yourself with people who seek authenticity is one of the most healthiest things you can do to maintain your mental health. Surrounding yourself with shallowness and egotistical people will only drain the energy you have to offer to the right people. Trust me, I learnt the hard way. And there is nothing wrong with the way they are. People are wired differently. If you are similar to me and want to keep your heart and health in tack, nourish yourself with kindness and compassion. Keep the egos at arms length. Life isn't about competing with one another, its about connecting with one another. 

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