Sunday, 14 May 2017

In the end, that's what we mourn. The paths we didn't take. The people we didn't touch

From my point of view, I see a lot of people around me living in regret. I think we all do from time to time. Wish we were more gentle, did more to help someone else, didn't react in a certain way ect. But there is also a way to live your life not in regret. Sure, you will make mistakes and upset people along the way. That is only being human. What shows incredible strength and character is how you acknowledge your certain mishaps along the way and try to reconcile with someone you may have upset. I have watched too many people lose people and regretting the way they left things with the person that may have passed away. 

A saying that hits me is 'they only care when you are dead'. I agree to a certain extent. For example, a lot of people are very caught up in their own world and perspectives that they miss certain warnings or information along the way of their chosen path in life. I think if we all became more self aware and worked hard at accepting our flaws, we could start to understand people around us a lot better. Its a guarantee you will attract conflict with people, but you can also make amends with that conflict. Its all about communicating and validating each person's feelings in the situation that you may be caught up in, not only yours. 

What I have also noticed is word of mouth can misconstrued someones intentions in a situation. People tend to speak about people behind each others back, rather than confronting someone about something that may have upset them. The key to moving forward is to try resolve situation rather than letting them manifest. If you avoid confrontation forever, you will never know how to resolve things in the long run. 

Something I must bring attention to is when people die by suicide. People become 'shocked' and then some peoples automatic response is either 'I wish they reached out to me' or 'I wish I did more'. These responses show that we still have a long way to go when it comes to one of our close ones (or anyone for that matter) becoming mentally impaired. People miss warning signs all the time even though there is information readily available out there to make you become more aware. Dont sit back and think you did all you can, when you could of done more. Dont claim to care for someone who may die by suicide, when you abandoned them in their time of despair on numerous occasions. Deep down you may convince yourself you care. But care is shown in actions, not words. Not in hidden places. 

People also assume when we speak up about people doing more, that we aren't grateful or we ask for too much. When someone wants to end their own life, why is it so much to ask for someone to comfort us or come with us so we are safely presented to hospital? So many times people have just dropped me off there and ignored me. Countless times people will call the police due to the fact they think I am being 'manipulating'. So many times people have reassured me that they are there for me but as soon as reality hits, they run for the hills. That is not supporting someone. If I had a psychical injury I could call upon majority of my friends in my phone book or message them on social media. As soon as I am at home self harming, these options became very shortened and limitless. 

If you are sitting out there knowing you have abandoned someone in a crisis and you are convinced you support someone who is mentally impaired, you are living your life in a comforting lie. Its not too late to come forward and apologise for the rejection you have shown someone (intentional or not). Its not too late to acknowledge your accountability. I hope that the people who have done it to me in the past one day something sinks in. I know if I lose my life to suicide/my mental illness, and they post a social media post claiming that they did all they could, that they loved me ect, I know deep down my truths and how I have been treated by certain people. Be a person of integrity, not a person who only cares when its too late. 

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