Monday, 14 November 2016

Mindfulness Vs Ignorance

Mindfulness is so productive and can do a lot of positive reinforcements for someone who suffers BPD or any other mental illness. What I find the most challenging about my experience with practicing mindfulness so far is dealing with ignorant people. For those who don't know the definition of ignorant, the meaning is: lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated; discourteous or rude. Ignorance means lack of knowledge or information. 

I am not one to claim to know 'everything'. I am sure I have displayed behaviours that have come across ignorant. A difference between myself and majority of the people I have dealt with, if I am ignorant to a subject I will have the politeness and curiosity to learn more. I will ask the person who is educated more questions to soak up information so next time I can be more aware. Thats what makes my perspective on things easy. I like learning new things and hearing other peoples voices and opinions. 

This is where I try to deliver a strong voice for the mentally impaired. Some people are still very ignorant and have made up their minds on a situation before listening to the person who is ill. The person who was hurt. The dictator was hurt after because of the consequences that came with hurting someone who is mentally impaired. Instead of defusing a situation they would make it worse by repeating hurtful behaviours that they were aware would trigger. 

In a peaceful world, we would all accept everyones behaviours and interests. For example, I met a girl once who was heavily involved in politics. As I have said previous posts, I avoid politics like a plague. But instead of not validating or accepting her view on things she obviously knew a lot more then I did, I listened. I listened attentively and then after we spoke I did some more research into the campaign she's so passionate about. I learnt something because I chose to be more aware of situations. 

The biggest challenge for me is taking my memory back to past ignorant experiences. Ones where I have been attacked for voicing my suicide ideation, people convincing me that my problems aren't 'real'. Instead of taking into account I have ten years experience with this illness, I have had now a total of 8 attempts, I work for SPA and BPD foundations, I post articles that are factual and have real statistics, they still turn a blind eye. They refuse to see it for what it really is. I still have to deal with people today who think I cut for attention, post stuff on Facebook as a 'cry for help' and lists go on. My break up for instance I dealt with a whole range of ignorance, to the point a few of my ex's own friends were triggering me due to their lack of knowledge of the situation and my illness. Even the person who was suppose to look after me and protect me in the darkest of times displayed th most ignorance. She didn't see it for what it was because she was set in her own opinion and everyone else around her. My opinion or the actual illness never mattered to her. 

So how does one maintain mindfulness in situations that seem almost impossible? I guess it takes a lot of positive reinforcement talk. Reminding yourself your illness is real, that they don't suffer it and that you would never wish a mental illness as debilitating as this on your worst enemy, that they have been bought up differently, that maybe they haven't come to terms with something with in themselves. You can try to keep educating them, but this can also cause conflict when they refuse to hear you out or validate how you feel. Your illness is real, stick to the people who take your suicide ideation which you battle with daily as real and a concern and sit comfortably in knowing that you aren't like these people. The people who will probably always be stuck in the same situations with people as they refuse to help others or educate themselves on something as severe as a mental illness. 

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