Thursday, 17 November 2016

Did you forget to take your Meds

I have had a lot of experience when it comes to taking medication for a mental illness. In my case I have found the several different types I have had over the years, some have helped and some have made my symptoms worse. I stopped getting prescribed my medication as I used a lot in the past to attempt Suicide. I wasn't sure if my urges were more strong because I was on high dosses. I will go through the meds I have been through and how they impacted my health at the time. 


This was the very first medication I was described after my diagnosis. I remember they had side effects as blurred vision and made me lose my appetite. I also saw 'Halo's' when I had bright areas around me which made it difficult to concentrate in present moments. I was prescribed this for six months last year and the side effects weren't present but I lost a lot of sleep. I had more disturbed sleep then I usually do. Lexapro is mainly used to help people suffering severe anxiety symptoms. It is designed to positively impact communication between nerve cells in the central nervous system and restore chemical balance in the brain.


Seroquel is an antipsychotic medicine. It works by changing the actions of chemicals in the brain. My relationship with Seroquel was dangerous and it heightened my suicide urgencies. It caused me to have heightened panic attacks, lack of motivation and I felt weak. I couldn't get out of bed some days because of the side effects impacting my body. My mood become very low when I was taking this medication. It did help me sleep at night but I would always feel sluggish the next morning.


In my experience the only medication I have had a positive relationship with. Doctors don't described it anymore unless they really have to. It made me calm in social situations I felt would really trigger me. It made the anxiety knot in my stomach disappear. It was like being on cloud 9 but in a good way. I felt drowsiness from it but always picked me up the next day. Valium was only used for a short months to help me in a crisis. Valium is highly addictive but did help me at the time.


Logan is used to treat depression. I was prescribed Lovan when I had a crisis of deep depression after a suicide attempt. Logan didn't really do anything for me. It continued to make me feel flat. I stopped taking this myself as I thought it wasn't doing anything and intense therapy was helping more.


Effexor was also given to me at the start of my diagnosis. I was on a high does, 80 mg. Effexor felt like I was on ecstasy. I would have manic highs then would go quiet an hour later. I had my near lethal suicide attempt by taking over 30 effexor mixed with Seroquel. I do believe these meds didn't impact me positively at all and only made me feel worse.

I chose to not rely on meds for these reasons. I believe DBT is the best approach for my health to help me. Everyones brains are wired differently and I know certain people on these medications that have been proven helpful to them. Everyone is different, I just hope people know that meds don't 'cure' a diagnosis. They only lessen the symptoms of the illness that are present. I have a lot of rewiring to do in my brain that can be done by mindfulness. I think if you can not rely on medication to solve your illness and train your brain then that is a very powerful tool to have. I do how ever believe people need medication to help them. I know certain ones I took that had a positive impact did help at the time.

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