Sunday, 9 October 2016

World Mental Health Day


My near death experience was when I was 21 years old. Previous attempts had failed and this time I took it next level. Having tried previously, I knew what to do for it to be 'successful' this time. I remember laying in my room and slowly drifting off. I had taken over fifty of my sleeping tablets. I started to vomit and my house mate at the time had luckily heard me and rushed me to ED as I was having seizures. 

The rest I don't remember. I woke up in the intensive care unit at Bunbury hospital. The nurse who was looking after me said I was lucky to be alive as my heart rate had reached 148 beats per minute. Having a rate that high can cause cardiac arrest. 

Struggling with Suicide ideation every single day of my life since I was 17 is harder then a lot can imagine, especially for people who have never had that thought cross their mind. I have never really gone into detail about my attempts but they are real and I didn't think I was going to make it past my 21st birthday. 

Today is World Mental Health Day. I celebrate still being here even though daily I struggle with my mind telling me death seems like a better option. That it would be easier for people if I wasn't here. That I shouldn't be here because I am so ashamed of my illness and the impact it has had on other people. 

Check in on someone today and tell someone who has a mental illness you love them. It could really brighten someone's day that is usually filled with despair.

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