I apologise in advance if this post comes across scattered but this is literally coming from a thought that came on the train on the way to play indoor soccer. Due to the lack of sleep I am probably highly delirious and my brain is in over drive. Not to mention the sickening nightmares and sleep paralysis that has come back since I got hurt again.
It's so strange how someone of such a high social status (minus Beyonce, she can do anything and I am hundred per cent behind her) can express the pain of heart break and despair and that is viewed as 'artistic, ground breaking, phenomenal, people lose their shit over it for a week' type of thing. But when someone of a far less status, a normal every day human, expresses their heart ache and pain through writing, posting photos, quotes and all that jazz that they are automatically a target for bullying and they are out casted. Because they express something real and true to them that it is disregarded. But artists and celebrities do it all the time and everyone goes on a three day rampage and celebrates it for as long as its all anyone talks about.
I write purely for the sake of education. I know some posts I have done in the past have come across attacking and a way to get back at my ex (ofc she would think that) but its not been for any of those reasons and never will be. It has so many benefits such as people find comfort in the way I can express my pain and to know that they are not alone, they can feel part of society, they can stop feeling isolated, they can learn to voice how they are feeling and it can help them. Help is the main key as writing and being able to express the reality of heart break and as well as the heart breaking reality of a mental illness is what keeps me sane. I have tried to tell people how my brain works and some people just get exhausted trying to understand how much it is always thinking and analysis. I don't think having that thinking pattern is a flaw as being that observant can make me more considerate and I can empathise exactly with how someone is feeling. Even before they may know how they feel.
I think if everyone had the respect and admiration they have of celebrities with normal human beings, then this world would be a bit more tolerant of each other and understanding. Understand this blog is so much more then an outlet to have a big vent on. It's an outlet of so many things and layers of myself. I learn more from writing and I know the right people are learning from my writing too.
Honestly though imagine if I had made a visual album with high status. People would then consider me normal for a change.